Okay, I get it. Sweat pants are extremely comfortable. So are flannel pajama pants. This bull-hauling blogger spends half his winter in a hoodie, sweatpants, or flannel pajama pants. But I rarely leave the house in them. Notice I didn’t say never. I said rarely.
5 Acceptable Places To Wear Sweatpants
- In the privacy of your own home. It’s your home, so be comfortable. Whether I’m reading, working online, or watching TV, I want to be warm and cozy. And nothing beats a hoodie and sweatpants. I may even venture to the mailbox on rare occasions, but no farther.
- To and from the gym. If you have other stops on your way to or from, all bets are off. You don’t go to the bank, Starbucks, or the hardware store. Just to and from the gym. It’s what sweatpants were made for. I wear sweatpants over my workout clothes when the weather demands them.
- Going for a cold weather run. I’m a runner. Not a marathon type, but I run a 5K route about 3 times a week. I run in compression pants when it’s cooler. Say, 30 to 45 degrees outside. From 10 to the high 20s, I often wear sweatpants over my compression pants. When it’s down to single digits or colder, I’m off to the gym.
- Shopping at Walmart. Yep! If you want to blend in with the other gump slobs, put on your sweatpants and head to Walmart. You’ll blend right in. Lean over your cart and rest your elbows on the handle like the rest of them. But remember what happens when you run into someone whose opinion you actually care about. You’ve branded yourself as a gump slob Walmart shopper.
- Infiltrating a gump slob crime ring. If you’re in law enforcement or a journalist and trying to get on the inside of a gump slob crime ring, you may need to blend in. Just follow the directions in #4, and everyone will buy your cover.
Places To Wear Sweat Pants – A Semi Truck Is Not One Of Them
I need to modify that statement slightly. Sleep in whatever floats your boat. But don’t drive in sweatpants. Think of who’s likely to see you. I can think of several, and I want the best first impression from all of them. Sweat pants will kill that first impression.
- At the weigh station. Mr. Trooper has a quota. Not on citations but on inspections. He calls three drivers in with logbooks and paperwork. One of the three is the gump slob Walmart shopper. Who’s getting inspected?
- When you get pulled over. The guy who’s driving in his sweatpants might as well be driving in his pajamas. Unless he can convince smokey that he’s on his way to the gym, he might as well get ready for an inspection.
- An accident or emergency scene. I don’t know about you, but I want to represent myself as confident and authoritative in an emergency situation. At the very least, I want to blend in. I sure don’t want to stand out as the gump slob on my way home from Walmart.
- At the truck stop. Want a little more respect at the truck stop? You’ll be elevated in the eyes of the truck stop employees, the other truckers, and the motoring public. Little kids can look up at their mom and dad and say, “I want to be a trucker when I grow up.” Or they can say, “I always wondered where those gump slobs at Walmart work.” You decide.
- At the loading docks. On second thought, go ahead. Wear your sweatpants at the shippers and receivers. I will be loaded, unloaded, and get my paperwork quicker than you. When you wonder why I was treated better, just look down. When I get the next load, and your dispatcher tells you to call back in two hours, just look at yourself. I’m a properly dressed tradesman, and you’re a gump slob Walmart shopper in a truck.
A Little Trucker Dump Rivalry
I was motivated to write this article after listening to the latest episode of Trucker Dump, a podcast about trucking. After an hour of Todd and his guest discussing how to improve the trucking image, Todd admitted to being a big fan of sweatpants. Say it isn’t so, Todd.